Swingers Baby

Ilya and I have a little piece of LA heaven and that place is called Swingers Diner.

Sunset Junction a.k.a. Funnest Day Ever!

If there is one big lesson I took out of 2008, it was that it's much better to have a friend in a band, than it is to have a boyfriend in a band. Ilya and I decided to go see Mikel play at Sunset Junction, an annual Sunset favorite, and had one of THE BEST Ilya and Stacy days ever! We spent the early afternoon walking around people watching as we waited for Mikel and The Airborne Toxic Event to begin their performance. The day was a lovely, 103 degrees and all the beer in the world couldn't convince me that I wasn't about to pass out from heat exhaustion. At one point, I kept telling Ilya that the world was going dark and I was about to pass out. I downed a beer and a hot dog and all was well again.After ATE's performance Ilya and I, in rare groupie form went "backstage", which was more of a back gate than anything, and said hello to Mikel. Like a true rock star, the last time I had seen him was when he stumbled off into the night, pissed off for some reason beyond me. Ah, the life of a tortured romantic musician! Suffice it to say, Mikel was better to admire at a distance. Today, ATE is gaining popularity and has a regular presence on all the local radio stations. It is great to watch him succeed in something that is so dear to him, and it is well deserved, ATE is an amazing and talented band. Ilya and I found ourselves going with Mikel and the band to some random bar which felt like an oasi. The mixture of cold beer and air conditioning meant that we weren't about to leave this dark bar and venture off into the hot hot heat and LA sunshine anytime soon. Why do I look so much more posey in this picture than he does?But not in this one!!! Ah, the drunken Jollet's - Mikel and his big bro.Now this guy was hilarious, his name is Tim and he is from a band called "The Movies". Not only does he love to drink but he is a self professed lover of black girls...HI YO! This is the back of Anna. If you are a regular watcher of Leno, Letterman or Conan you would be more familair with the front of her. She is in Airborne and plays the violin...and the tambourine.You aren't truly a local of Los Angeles, until you have been drunk at some random person's, indie band house party in the bowels of Sunset Junction, dated a rising musician and vowed to never date another musician. And for 2008, I was a local Angelino...and in 2009 I am happy to say, I have moved away and onward.

Oktoberfest - It's German for Drunk

The law can no longer keep their love apart...

Prom circa 1994

Spillage 

Grrr is that a bear skin jacket you're wearing?  Everyone has the right to bear arms.

Kelly and Niccole

The universal sign for truck driver honk your horn

Who bites their lip to do the chicken dance?

Weak chins

Ramblings from a Rambler

Life can change in a instant. A few short months ago I was in an empty house sleeping on a air mattress wondering what else life could throw my way to test my strength. Now, I find myself in transition to a new job, moving back to the city where I grew up, in a relationship with someone who makes me happier than I can remember ever being with someone EVER...and still sleeping on an air mattress. At the end of this month I will be starting a new journey and I couldn't be happier or in a better place in life.

Goodbye LA Walk

For the last couple of mornings Ilya and I have decided to document our last days together. Today I bring you....the Starbucks walk.

This is typically the moment where a homeless man tries to make sexy times with me or Ilya or where Ilya yells loudly about the weather.
Oh Starbucks, how I love you. Your venti shaken black iced teas, your venti iced red eyes...my inability to ever order you sweetened for fear I will be judged over the mass quantity of Splenda that I put in you. I can't quit you downtown LA Starbucks....if only there were another Starbucks on this planet...wait what?
Ilya loves her some Starbucks too. She gets a butter croissant - which is important information to note should you ever be asked to bring her something back from a Starbucks run.

My Favorite!

Too much douchery for one picture!

The End of the Road

It is official, last week I accepted a job offer with Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach and will soon be moving back to Orange County. I thought this would bring only good feelings but it has put me in a moment of reflection and has made me take a good look at the tremendous amount of things I have to be thankful for that my stay in LA has blessed me with.

What I am thankful about from my LA stay:

1. I was part of something amazing - I worked at a tremendously stressful but nonetheless amazing place while in LA. Operation HOPE has a strong mission, a visionary founder and is changing lives throughout the world. Because I was blessed to be part of Operation HOPE I have been to amazing places and I have witnessed amazing things.

I have been to South Africa and went on a safari. Also while I was there had a chance to sit with former Civil Rights leader, Ambassador Andrew Young and listen as he told me stories about he and Martin Luther King's work during the movement. I have been on the trading floor of Wall Street and was part of the opening bell ceremonies at the NASDAQ. I have sat in President Clinton's foundation office in Harlem. I have met amazing people like famous sculptor, Tina Allen who sadly passed away recently. I have sat with Reverend Cecil "Chip" Murray the Chair of the Tansy School at USC and famed leader in Los Angeles while he talked to me about life and love. I have flown to and explored great cities like New York, Chicago, Washington D.C., Atlanta and Philadelphia. I have salsa danced with the Mayor of Los Angeles in Washington D.C. and I have met many other people who are a celebrity in their own right and doing their part to change the world for the good.

2. Entering the Comedy World - Had I not lived in the Pasadena area I don't know if I would ever of gone to the Ice House and auditioned to be a part of their stand up comedy show line up. One fateful Saturday afternoon almost 2 years ago, I went to the Ice House and joined 100 others as we auditioned to be in the show. I was armed with 3 minutes of funny and a whole lot of ignorance. I was lucky to have made the cut along with 7 others and began the fun and often times intimidating world of stand up. Had I never done stand up I wouldn't have signed up at Second City and started doing improv, something which I have grown to enjoy a tremendous amount.

3. My New Friends - I have made some great friends through my work that I will miss seeing every day but I look forward to making the trek past the orange curtain to visit them. Friends like Ilya, who makes me laugh and gives some of the best advice in the world, even though she prefaces it with, "Now although I have no personal experience in this area here's what I think..." And Rachael who is a great mother, a great listener and an overall amazing person and Emily who is so very fun, smart and great to talk to. She just moved here from SF and I am sad that I haven't had the chance to spend a lot of time with her now that she lives in LA.

4. Relationship Wisdom - Probably the most painful part of moving to Los Angeles was what it brought on the relationship front. For the first time in my life I went on dates with guys I barely knew (in the past I only dated people I worked with or was friends with before hand) which was so depressing. After casually dating a couple of guys I was left thinking, "If this is all that's left then I should just get to it and get my ovaries removed and get busy with adopting cats." Okay maybe a little over-dramatic but it was greatly depressing thinking that the dating pool was only filled with douchebags.

I began two relationships both which ended terribly. One with a guy who lied to me and had a fiancee on the side and the other who seemed like a great catch only to turn out to be an asshole and a coward. But in the end it forced me to face two of my greatest relationship fears; being betrayed and lied to and being left. Facing those two things has really taught me a lot about myself and about what I deserve from the person I am in a relationship with. I am better because of the pain I faced in those relationships and I have stumbled upon a great new relationship chapter that I am looking forward to growing.

I am excited and nervous as I begin to transition back to OC and out of Operation HOPE. But I can say whatever tomorrow brings, I welcome it with open arms.

Best Part of My Day

The best part of my day today is that I have met a great guy...and he seems to like so many things about me and not just my french toast and it feels wonderful and amazing to have someone feel that way about me. It's been too long! And the kicker is....he's pretty awesome too.

The publisher would like to make a public apology and clarify that while this story implied that the mystery person had just been met that day, he was in fact met much earlier than that day. He was actually met weeks before this post. We apologize for any confusion and blame it on the misinterpretation of the reader more so than the publisher. - Good Day

Me and the Reigning Champion of the "Favorite Person of the Week" Title

and yes, if you are wondering that picture in the background is indeed a picture of Ilya's forehead.

Reception Pics

Me and my mommy

One of my brothers closest and best friends, Jared. Just to give you and idea of how far we've come the picture below was taken around the time that we first met Jared.

He use to be teeny teeny tiny and I use to have big ole glasses so luckily things have changed for the both of us.

Ray, who is a great friend to Julia and Erik AND a great friend to me. Ray has come to most of my comedy shows and is always there supporting me. Josh is Tandi's husband and hilarious and wonderful. Tandi and Josh just got married a few weeks earlier.

Not that I am one of those annoying people who immediately say to a newly married couple, "When are you going to have children?" But I have to say that when the day comes where my brother has children he is going to be an amazing father. I have known that for a long time just because of how wonderful and amazing he is as a person but watching him with his new niece was so great to see because it just reminded me how wonderful he is with kids. She was having a ball dancing with him although it wasn't totally clear who was leading.

Tandi and Me

Bob, Geoff and his wife Natalie and Doug's daughter Casey.

I have known Doug since I was 16 years old and worked at his company, Page One. Erik, my brother also worked with Page One and Doug has become a great friend over the years to us both.

Pre Wedding Fun!

Some of the most fun I had with the whole wedding process was getting a chance to hang out with Julia, Tandi, Jaycie and Tracy. I hadn't seen Jaycie and Tracy in close to or maybe even more than 10 years so it was amazing having a chance to reconnect with good friends. On Friday night we spent the entire night drinking champagne and reminiscing about high school. We stayed at the Marriott overlooking Newport Beach so it was even cooler being able to hang out with high school friends in the town we grew up in. When we went to buy alcohol for the hotel room it was funny to think that this was the first legal purchase of alcohol that I had ever done with this group. It is so amazing to see that a group of crazy girls have grown into amazing women that I am blessed to have as a part of my life.

In high school, when Jaycie, Tracy and I would meet guys and introduce ourselves they always thought we were messing with them. If it weren't odd enough that all of our names rhymed we were inseparable in high school and it became a funny joke that our names sounded as if we were cheerleaders. If you knew these girls today, and in high school for that matter they are FAR from cheerleaders. Which is why I love them sooooo much!

I made the bouquets in the morning out of flowers that Tandi, Jaycie and Tracy scoured Orange County for the night before. I didn't have any greenery to put into the bouquets so on Saturday morning I went on a hunt at the hotel and cut them out of the trees surrounding our room. What can be better than a bouquet with a back story! We were so cautious with the bouquets and I think we were convinced that the slightest jolt to them would cause them to wilt and die and we would be left with having to carry wilted brown flowers down the aisle.

Julia looked amazing of course. The first words that the chauffeur said when she saw Julia was, "wow you have such a flat tummy" to which her sister replied, "Isn't it amazing, you can't even tell that she is 8 months pregnant."

Wedding Rehearsal

Tandi, Tracy, Julie, Me and Jaycie at Erik and Julia's Rehearsal Dinner

I am so sad that Tandi isn't in this picture with us because then it would have been perfect. This pic was taken of our group in high school....me, Tracy, Jaycie and Julie hanging out in the back parking lot at Uni.

break up, break down

The only thing that is holding me together right now is Gloria Gayner in my head singing "I Will Survive". The only thing that got me to stop crying and wallowing last night was Season Two of Sex and the City, the episodes where Samantha, Miranda and Charolette gathered around Carrie to help her over the break-up with "Big" (for the first time). Well, that and the fact that my friend stayed with me so I didn't have to face the empty apartment filled with the stench of memories, alone.

Showers, eating, sleeping, walking, talking all seem like impossible tasks. Each time I try to take the first step I may as well be climbing Everest with a elephant on my back. I made it to work but focusing on anything else besides breathing deeply from one minute to the next is the only thing I am capable of. My eyes look puffy and only half the people I tell that I have allergies today actually believe me. I can't help but recount every moment of yesterday. From the moment I walked out the door, to the moment I walked through the door to unexpectedly find our entire apartment empty. Left with nothing but questions on how did the man I thought I loved turn out to be less than a man. A coward who scurries away secretly while I am out for the day, leaving me to return to an empty apartment with no bed to sleep in, no note, no phone call, no explaination.

I will not say I was perfect for a minute, I know my faults and what I did wrong. What I don't know is how someone who said they loved you moments before, someone who said they wanted to build a life with you...just runs away from it all to hide. I will never have the answers...and really Iwhy do I even need them. I understood he didn't want to be with me anymore what I struggle to understand is how he could do it so cold heartedly with no remorse, no feelings and no love at all. The "man" I knew never even existed. Why would I want someone who doesn't love and appreciate me? Someone who is childish in the way they deal with emotions and relationships. Someone who is resentful and spineless. I move through the different stages of loss with each passing minute, without staying in any of them too long....

Questioning: How strong can love be when one moment someone says they love you and want to build a life with you and the next they shut down and walk away? Love must be only as strong as the moment it's in. It's imperfect and wavering. For once I wanted to try my best to make it work and as a result I am left with nothing but questions.

Anger: He is a bastard, a coward, a liar, a con. He isn't a man, he isn't even half a man, if he were here I would punch him, bite him, stab him, tear his hair out. He is a child, an emotional cripple, he deserves to spend all his days in torment.

Sadness: The uncontrollable sobbing I do in the most random of moments, one minute I feel fine and hopeful and then a second later I am sobbing hysterically from the deepest part of my gut. Feeling hopeless and scared and confused and most painfully, never loved.

Denial: I think this is the moment right before sadness. It's that moment where my mind for a split second says, "there is no way this is happening"...."there is no way this is for real, he will come back, he will be sorry and he will do something amazing to try and show how sorry he is." This lasts for a split second and then I realize what an asshole he is and then I move to anger.

Relief: If only I could stay here for most of my time the pain would pass much quicker. I don't have to deal with him putting me down, I feel free from his rude comments and misplaced anger, I feel hopeful that someday I will find someone who is all he could never be, I no longer have to deal with his unreasonable, coddling, imbalanced mother. I don't have to be with someone who exists only to work, I feel relieved that I finally get a chance to be with someone who appreciates me and my dogs and all that I bring to the table.

Regret: I should have left him months ago. I should have seen this coming. I shouldn't have held my tongue in those moments when he said terrible things to me. I shouldn't have given him so much credit. I am a terrible judge of character. I regret the day I met him, I regret moving in with him, I regret ever trying to convince myself that he was more than what he really was.

Acceptance: Granted it is only day one, which is why I'm sure I have spent very little time in this stage. I accept that he has left...and that is okay with me. What I struggle to accept is the horrible way in which he chose to leave. I can't accept that and I don't know if I ever will.

Forgiveness: He sent me a text message - - yes a chicken shit text message - - saying that he hopes one day I will be able to forgive him. I don't know if I will ever get to that point. Right now I am stuck in the "I want you to burn in hell and torment" point. And quite honestly I am pretty comfortable here.

When you're going through a break up you need your friends. I have grown terrified of quiet rooms in my house. Going into the bedroom feels like diving to the bottom of a pool, holding my breath long enough to grab some clothes and then having to burst out, scared that I am going to drown.

My friends have gathered around me like I knew they would. Those with significant others stand in strength. My single friends do the same, but are silently thanking their stars that they aren't me. They ask questions trying to decode the mystery of it all, hoping to spare themselves some pain in the future based on my experience.

One of my friends wants to egg his car, T.P. his mom's house and call him to yell at him. While I would never let her do so (nor would she ever follow through) I love the idea of it and have spent a good part of today picturing it in my head. But I am human and with that comes the need for revenge. And oh, how badly I want revenge. I want to punch him in the face, say all the mean things I held inside because I didn't want to hurt him. I pray that I will get it one day..and when I do it will be the revenge in finding someone wonderful that is everything he wasn't. Someone who appreciates me the way I deserve, someone who loves me for my faults and for my strengths. And for as long as I need it I will sing along with Gloria, watch as many movies as I can and lean on my family and friends. I did love the idea of who he was but he turned out to be nothing at all. He isn't my lobster...he may have moved out but I will move on.

Second City Show

It's Almost Time!

In a little more than one month I will be up at one of my most favorite places in the world...CAMP! As a child I only went to camp two times but as an adult I have been directing camps for almost 8 summers. I get to escape from a week of work and spend an entire week up in Big Bear with hundreds of kids from all over Southern California. I can't think of anything more fun than being up there with my "camp family", making lanyards, hiking, singing at campfire and just being a kid for a week. I am truly blessed to have such an opportunity like this one in my life.