An Old Entry

A few months ago, when I embarked upon Internet dating I started a separate blog to track my dates and go through somewhat of a virtual therapy session for it. I made a separate blog because I had a few reservations about the judgement that would be passed for my new venture. Internet dating has a lot of stigma tied to it and although many people are using as a way to meet people these days it still seems to have a little negativity tied to it.

Here is my entry from a few months ago as I began my Internet journey...at the time I had no idea that a great guy was just a few torturous dates away.

The couch is getting unbearable. I bought it from IKEA a few weeks ago. I thought that after a few days of breaking in it would be tolerable to sleep on. But each night I find myself tossing and turning counting the minutes until daybreak, wondering if I should move to the floor instead of fighting the small width of the couch. I have learned to tolerate the incessant pain in my lower back that only someone who couch sleeps can understand. My sleeping arrangement has turned into somewhat of a joke among my friends, because really, if you take it too seriously it is somewhat pathetic.

It has been over a month now since I came home that Sunday to find my entire house empty. My asshole boyfriend of one year, the boyfriend who wanted to move in together in the first place, had spent the 4 hours I was away from the house moving everything out of our place. We had been fighting for some time and I had already mentally set December as the month I was going to end it if things hadn't turned around...but I didn't expect it to turn out like that. I was thinking of a more civil breakup...maybe one that started with, "we're just not right for each other" and maybe ended with something different than leaving the other person with no bed to sleep in, no couch to sit on and only an empty apartment filled with the stench of regret. When I left that morning I told him to tell me what his plan was after he told me we should go our separate ways. Had I of known that his secret plan consisted of renting a U-Haul the minute I drove away, so that he could sneak away with no responsibility or respect I wouldn't have been so eager to leave. I may have spent the afternoon taking a nap in bed if only I had known that would be the last good sleep I would have for some time.After moping for an entire week I was over him and our relationship.

I would be lying if I said that I didn't have the occasional relapse and ache for someone to hold me...but as far as my feelings for him, I didn't and I haven't missed him for a second. The difference with this breakup though is that I wasn't bitter or filled with trepidation about getting back into a relationship. I felt ready to embrace someone to come into my life and begin a relationship that was functional and void of object throwing and name calling. I wasn't into meeting some douche bag at a desperation-filled bar and I certainly didn't have much of a company pier to fish off of so I thought I would take the leap and give Internet dating a try. What could it hurt right? Once you get over the stigma of it all Internet dating isn't so bad. So I made a mental list of all the reasons why Internet dating made sense:

1. Meeting guys the traditional ways i.e. bars, grocery stores (although I think this only applies to romantic comedies), through friends (although my friends lag in this area and have no viable leads) never works out well.

2. I work a lot and need an efficient means to meet someone.

3. People tend to be a little more upfront and honest (or so I've heard) on the Internet.

4. I will be able to get to know someone in a non pressure virtual environment to feel them out before I meet them.

5. What do I have to lose?

Five reasons was all I needed...maybe I was a little worried if I tried to make more reasons I would lose my nerve so without a further thought I jumped right in and made my profile.