Oh Tina Fey How I Love You!

Charlie and I in the Comics

This is what Charlie and I would look like if we were on Sunday morning cartoons...

Wedding Pics

Here are some more wedding pics from August that I pillaged off of Julia's Facebook page.

Second City

Older Second City

Second City Show

Oktoberfest - It's German for Drunk

The law can no longer keep their love apart...

Prom circa 1994

Spillage 

Grrr is that a bear skin jacket you're wearing?  Everyone has the right to bear arms.

Kelly and Niccole

The universal sign for truck driver honk your horn

Who bites their lip to do the chicken dance?

Weak chins

Why Today is the Saddest Day

Has this economy spared no one? First Starbucks had to close down under performing stores in order to stave off bankruptcy rumblings, then the stock market took tremendous hits. Banks started to close their doors clients ran to withdraw their money from accounts while the banks still had money in the vaults. The American dollar is declining in value every day. We live in a very scary world in very scary times. This morning my world came to another crashing hault when I learned that no one is safe in today's economy...now it is coming after our sacred childhood memories! Ladies and gentlemen brace yourselves while I break some very tragic news to you. Mother's Cookies are no more and will be closing their doors! As of this Monday the Oakland, CA-based company abruptly closed their doors and filed for bankruptcy protection, citing the rising costs of fuel and supplies as the reason. A number of people lost their jobs in the closing and the country lost an iconic cookie.
Now I have a new worry...global warming caused me to worry that my children and my children's children would never see the majesty of a polar bear in real life because of the melting polar ice caps and their decline to extinction. Now that fear had been replaced by the even more impending fear that my children will never know the deliciousness of a pink iced circus cookie bear. Oh the horror!

Paul's Love for the Peanut Brittle

So Much Delicious In One Picture!

How Do I Love Thee

I heart candy corn. It isn't even the normal kind of love it's the kind of love that is obsessive and stalkerish. I love candy corn so much that were it a person I would consume my life with it, I would follow it wherever it was, shower it with gifts and smother it with love and affection and then devour it. I can tell good candy corn by the way it looks in the bag. While some may believe that candy corn is an easy thing to create...I forgive you for your ignorance but strongly have to disagree. It is quite hard to get the sugar to wax ratio exact in order to arrive at the best tasting candy corn. Too much wax and it is like eating a candle...too little wax and it is chalky in your mouth. But when you get that candy corn that is the perfect mix of the two you get a little piece of heaven. The only thing better than a good candy corn are those delicious candy corn pumpkins which only come around once a year during Halloween time.

OH CANDY CORN HOW I LOVE YOU, I wish I knew how to quit you!!!

DisneyTimes

Cockroach Stompers

I was packing last night to get a jump start in my move back to Orange County. It was a great weekend and I was feeling productive and excited about getting things in order for my move. I wasn't more than 10 minutes into digging through my hallway closet when out came the largest, hairiest, scariest cockroach I have ever seen (which isn't saying much since I have only seen maybe 5 cockroaches in my time). This hairy crusty thing ran out and then ran quickly back into the closet. I am not sure if cockroaches have ears but I think my screaming had something to do with his retreat back into the darkness.

I called my boyfriend, Paul (I am sure that he will be happy that the first time I decide to publicly declare him my boyfriend and transition him from virtual anonymity is through a story about a cockroach) I made him stay on the phone with me as I desperately weighed my options of what to do with the roach offender.

Obviously my first move was to go into my bedroom closet to put on a pair of boots to keep a safe distance between my bare toes and that fuckers erratic antennae. I then put Paul on speaker phone (I am fast forwarding past the part where I asked him a few times to drive for an hour over to my house to take care of this for me--in hindsight I realize I didn't actually cry which I should have done...maybe then he would have come). There was a lot of screaming involved as I moved the chair in the closet and the cockroach bolted towards me. I took the black heel in my hand and tried my best to smash him. I am not sure if it was because I had my eyes closed or if the roach was so large that he managed to lift my shoe off of him but it took me three hits to finally make contact. When the madness commenced I realized I was out of breath, shaking and sweaty. My throat was also a little sore from screaming.

I am not proud of the fact that I was so terrified, nor am I proud of the fact that I have cockroaches (let's be honest what are the chances that's the only one?). My apartment which I once considered to be kept fairly clean and orderly has now transformed to the most disgusting filthy feeling place on earth.

Once I gained my composure I thought I would commemorate this experience and pay tribute to the fallen roach on my blog...maybe it is strange but I don't think anyone should face a tragedy alone - - so I am making lemonade out of a roach which in some countries is quite the delicacy.
What I have learned from my cockroach experience:

• I am a girl. I pride myself on being independent, self sufficient and pretty brave. This experience has taught me that I am a huge girl..girly girly girl. After I finish this blog I am on my way to go on a shopping spree to buy an entire wardrobe of pink and wear a tiara.

• I wouldn't last past the second round of Fear Factor. I could do the scary daredevil round but when it came to the eating bugs, sitting in bugs letting bugs crawl all over you portion of the show...I would have to fold and go home.

• I am terrified of cockroaches. I thought I was only really scared of insects with necks like praying mantis', grasshoppers and crickets. But cockroaches don't have necks but still manage to scare the living crap out of me.

• When I get married screw the for richer or poorer, sickness and health vows...my marriage will require a strict, "my husband must kill any insects, rodents, and any other creepy crawly thing that comes along" policy (Although this is a gross overstatement it doesn't change the fact that I am considering picking out a mail order husband from Moscow).

And because I believe in the power of the interweb in all it's glory I googled cockroaches and found some very fun cockroach facts that I thought I would share with you:

Interesting and Disgusting Cockroach Facts

• Number of legs on a cockroach 18
• Number of knees on most cockroaches
• 40-- Number of minutes cockroaches can hold their breath
• 75 -- Percentage of time that cockroaches spend just resting
• Some female cockroaches mate once and are pregnant for the rest of their lives
• Better Check Those Cracks in the Wall Young cockroaches need only a crack as thin as a dime to crawl into.
• Adult males can squeeze into a space of 1.6mm or the thickness of a quarter.
• Cockroaches can run up to three miles in an hour. (I will attest to this fact since when I missed the cockroach the first 2 times with my shoe I was convinced he was running towards me at a dead sprint.
• And the most concerning fact of them all...Cockroaches can live for up to 3 hours WITHOUT THEIR HEAD!

Ramblings from a Rambler

Life can change in a instant. A few short months ago I was in an empty house sleeping on a air mattress wondering what else life could throw my way to test my strength. Now, I find myself in transition to a new job, moving back to the city where I grew up, in a relationship with someone who makes me happier than I can remember ever being with someone EVER...and still sleeping on an air mattress. At the end of this month I will be starting a new journey and I couldn't be happier or in a better place in life.

Goodbye LA Walk

For the last couple of mornings Ilya and I have decided to document our last days together. Today I bring you....the Starbucks walk.

This is typically the moment where a homeless man tries to make sexy times with me or Ilya or where Ilya yells loudly about the weather.
Oh Starbucks, how I love you. Your venti shaken black iced teas, your venti iced red eyes...my inability to ever order you sweetened for fear I will be judged over the mass quantity of Splenda that I put in you. I can't quit you downtown LA Starbucks....if only there were another Starbucks on this planet...wait what?
Ilya loves her some Starbucks too. She gets a butter croissant - which is important information to note should you ever be asked to bring her something back from a Starbucks run.

Halloween Costumes

It's Free Candy Season and that means pumpkin carving, candy, scary movies, candy, costumes, candy and watching It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and CANDY. Deciding on the perfect Halloween costume is always difficult so I am hoping some of these may move you to inspiration:Erik and Julia as Adam and Eve...very realistic minus the shoes, the cars and the light posts

Josh in his Prince debut...(not sure if I have posting rights for this picture but whatev)

Or a fat bee
Or a cute little pea in a pod like Gracie (Jenny, she looks a little upset that you dressed her up like this)

Or cute little Scooby Doo like Christopher...who seems to have tamed the pissed off pea.

One of My Favorite People

One of my favorite people in the world is my brother. Although we spent much of our childhood trying to murderize one another we have grown very close as adults. Childhood with my brother was constant bickering, incessant teasing and heated fights involving him chasing me to my room to do nothing short of killing me. Growing up all my friends had crushes on my brother he however was more interested in staying in his room to play video games. During one of my birthday sleepovers, with about 12 of my closest friends, I realized that throughout the night one by one each of the girls were disappearing. When I went to investigate where everyone was going I went into my brothers room, only to find him on the bed playing his video game, surrounded by 10 girls that he wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of his room.

My brother was not what you would call "protective" growing up. Guys could call me names, spread rumors about me and I could be in fights without any hope of having him to back me up. But as we have gotten older he has made up for lost time and I can depend on him to be somewhat overprotective when I am in the company of douchebags...and I know he is always there for me if and when I need him.

I was once told that it is important to be close to your siblings because they are the only one in life who knows exactly what you have been through and who shares your same story. I am glad that my story is shared with a person like him.